Diary, 23rd of July, 2009 - The road of death, Romania

This morning we awoke early to the dulcet tones of six or seven barking dogs accompanied by the steady drone of trucks on the highway. I'm not sure if they ever stopped during the night. It had been a warm night and was already shaping up to be another hot, humid day, so feeling particularly seedy and probably quite smelly, we packed up the tent and hit the road for another long day of driving - destination: Bucharest.

An hour or so into the day's drive, we dropped in to a service station to check the tyres and water. I also really wanted a coffee to prevent the inevitable caffeine withdrawal headache. Since we were able to pay for dinner last night with Euros and weren't planning on staying in Hungary for long, we weren't carrying any local currency. I asked if I could buy a coffee with Euros, but rather than having to deal with changing my 2 Euro coin, the attendant gave me the coffee for free. Score.

Driving through the Hungarian countryside by day was a completely different experience to Budapest by night. Last night, Budapest was a beautiful, clean and distinctive city, but the Hungarian countryside shows much more of the country's

For the first time since the channel tunnel, we needed to stop for passport control as we crossed over into Romania. After a few quick checks our passports were stamped and we were on our way, and almost immediately it became very clear that we were leaving western Europe.

The roads and drivers in Romania are absolutely insane. Almost the entire distance from the border to Bucharest consisted of winding, single lane mountain roads, rising and falling with the contours of the land. Just to make things interesting though these roads are completely overflowing with trucks struggling to make 80km/h up the hills, and cars with psychotic drivers intent on maintaining no less than 130km/h.

Naturally, this results in lots of hairy overtaking. Three abreast with the overtaker straddling the centerline around a blind bend is commonplace. And if that isn't enough to get your blood flowing, the roadside is littered with absolutely lethal objects on or near the while line at the edge of your lane. For example; car sized drainage ditches with concrete separations each 15m, concrete parapets stepping in and out, random piles of dirt and bricks, and the occasional pedestrian walking directly on the lane in the middle of the night.

Around 9pm we bought dinner at a small roadside grill restaurant. The staff for some reason weren't very friendly, but the mechanic sitting behind us spoke flawless english and was very interested in the car and where we were going. I think we almost convinced him to change one of our CV joints for us!

After dinner, we returned to the highway for another couple of hours of Romanian Roulette. On the way we encountered more deadly roadside furniture than you can poke a stick at, a stoppage caused by a truck that had dropped it's entire rear axle on the road, and a stray dog that held a solid 45km/h for 200m beside our car as we entered Bucharest. After rolling around town for a while we eventually found a hotel for the night at around 2am. Completely exhausted, we cranked the aircon to full and hit the sack, with another long, hot day ahead of us.

Diary - 22nd of July, 2009 - From the Czech Republic to Hungary

After learning that the suspected Utopian Banking Society conspirators were headed for Trabzon on Monday night, we spent much of Tuesday making last-minute preparations for our journey. Having left the UK so hastily, we still had a number of expedition essentials to aquire - fuel for the Trangia, iodine for water treatment, a tyre repair kit, and a compass.

Unfortunately, neither Peter nor I speak a word of Czech. The fuel for the Trangia and food for our travels were quite easily purchased at the Tesco in Klatovy, but iodine for water purification was to prove practically impossible. After coming up empty handed at the local camping store, we headed to the pharmacy. Some pictionary and broken english later we discovered that the pharmacy didn't sell tincture of iodine anymore, but the woman at the counter was confident that another camping store in the town square would have something for water treatment. With a printout from Google Maps in hand, we headed to the town square.

While Peter waited in the car I headed to the first camping store, paper and pen in hand to explain through pictures what it was we were after. After a number of confused looks and some mutually unintelligible exchanges, a light suddenly came on in the head of the shop assistant, and she ran off excitedly with my water bottle... and returned with it full of tap water. Not exactly what I had in mind, but figuring I might have better luck at the next camping shop.

At the second shop I had much more pictionary success, and through sign language she explained that they didn't carry water purification tablets, but that she thought they might have some at the pharmacy up the road. Feeling a slight sense of deja vu, I wandered up to the second pharmacy, where one of the pharmacists explained that they don't sell iodine at pharmacies in the Czech Republic anymore. Defeated, I headed back to the car. With every second we spend in the Czech Republic, the UBS conspirators are getting further from our reach. We simply must hit the road.

From Klatovy we have driven to Linz, Austria. Though this is not the most direct route to Turkey, we felt we would have better luck getting a solution to our water purification problem here.

On the way to Austria we passed back through Germany shortly, and immediately after crossing the border were pulled over by an unmarked Audi wagon with two plainclothes German police. After checking that we weren't smuggling drugs from the Czech Republic and laughing at the prospect of us making it to Mongolia in four weeks in the Subprime Micra, the wished us good luck and left us on our way.

We spent last night at the Hotel Locomotive just out of town. After walking down to the town center for dinner and a look around, we came back to the hotel to process some photos, charge some batteries and spend a little bit of time on the internet before going to bed. Having constructed a makeshift power plug adapter from an old light cord we'd found on the walk home, I plugged in my US power board... and BANG! The lights go out. It seems that the surge protection circuits in my board cause serious issues for 220v supplies.

After stashing the offending gear back in a bag, I headed out toward the lobby to try to explain what had happened without incriminating myself. Thankfully on my way I came across the electrical box for our floor, found the circuit breaker for our room and reset it. The US powerboard is going back in the bag for the rest of the trip.

This morning we had another fantastic continental breakfast, and after discussing our rally car at length with the hotel owner, we started pounding the bitumen again. From Linz, we passed through Vienna for a late lunch, then into Slovakia through Bratislava and continuing through the night to Budapest in Hungary for dinner.

Budapest is an amazing city. As we parked the Micra, we noticed two young men paying undue attention to us and our car. We decided that it might be a good idea to stay close for the time being. Fortunately, directly across the road we found a bar/restaurant with a direct view of our car from the table. As we ate our traditional Hungarian soup with hot paprika, the two young men returned to scope out our car, but having noticed us noticing them, they seemed to decide to move on to an easier target.

Before continuing down toward Turkey, we decided to make a quick tour of some of the city's many attractions. After driving aimlessly for 10 or 15 minutes, we found a group of local teenagers who in flawless english directed us to the road up to the Citadella, overlooking the city.
The Citadella and the views of the city below are truely spectacular. It also seems to be the number one make-out spot for local teens. After an all too brief visit, we returned to the Micra for a couple of hours extra driving, but not far out of Budapest food-coma started to hit, and we set up camp in a field maybe 20m from the highway, to the sound of barking dogs and heavy freight trucks.

Diary, 21st of July, 2009 - Hot on the trail to Trabzon

Last night was the Czechout party for the 2009 Mongol Rally. The majority of the 500 teams starting in the UK, Spain and Italy converged on Hrad Klenova for a night of alcohol and bravado fuelled mayhem. All of the teams camped on a massive, if somewhat uneven, field just outside of the village of Klenova, then headed up the hill to the castle to party the night away.

Once we had parked the Subprime Micra and pitched our tent we wandered up to join the festivities and locate the clerk from the bookshop. On Sunday night we had arranged through the German to meet the clerk at the party, whom we would know as he would be dressed as a chemist.

After mingling for the Mongol Rally crowd for a couple of hours, and enjoying some barbeque chicken and Czech sausages we set to work looking for the bookshop clerk. Unfortunately, as the event was fancy dress the clerk wasn't the only one dressed as a chemist, but after using our secret password on a few confused rallyers, we finally found our man.

Apparently, while in the bookstore the pinstriped men had purchased a number of phrasebooks for Turkey, and much more significantly, maps and guidebooks for Trabzon, near the border with Iran. With this news we're making plans to drive to Trabzon as soon as possible. The pinstriped men have a solid three day head start on us, but they don't have the Subprime Micra. The chase is on...

Diary, 20th of July 2009 - More clues at Hrad Klenova?

The tip off to meet the German at Prüm last night has been very useful. We arrived at the bed and breakfast at around 1am Sunday night somewhat exhausted but keen to gather as much information as possible about the mysterious pinstripe suited men in Klenova. Otto and Linda greeted us warmly, and led us to the bar where they offered us a drink and showed us to our contact.

The German mentioned that in addition to what we had been told in the messages to Rob, the pinstriped men had been seen loitering around the bookshop and camping supply stores, and that they had left shortly afterward, heading south. Though he wasn't sure exactly what the men had been shopping for, he was confident that he could arrange a meeting for us with one of the clerks from the bookshop at the Mongol Rally Czechout party, tonight.

With this news we're making a beeline for Hrad Klenova. With any luck we'll arrive early tonight, in time to meet the clerk at the Czechout party.

Diary, 19th of July, 2009 - Meeting the German

To protect the innocent, some names and places in this post have been falsified.

For the first time in about a week, Peter and I awoke late in the morning with a full night's sleep. Clarissa went down the street to get a selection of French breads and pastries, and the four of us sat down to a superb breakfast and discussed the plan for the day.

Fearing that our presence in the apartment may attract the wrong kind of attention, or that it may be bugged, Rob decided to take us walking through the busy tourist heavy areas of Paris to give us the latest intelligence out of France on the whereabouts of the World Economy and the Utopian Banking Society conspiracy.

While posing as tourists walking past the old city cemetaries, through old cobblestone laneways and into the crypt of the Basilique du Sacré Cœur, Rob told us that a member of the German resistance had made an unconfirmed sighting of UPS conspirators, while holidaying in the tiny village of Klatovy in the Czech Republic. Apparently, several men in expensive pinstriped suits had been seen by a few of the locals, acting suspiciously carrying supplies in and out of the woods near town, and purchasing large quantities of food and water before leaving just one day ago.

We decided that it was essential that we speak to the German as soon as possible. Rob called some contacts to track down the German's location, and arrange a meeting. While we awaited instructions for our meeting we returned to Rob and Clarissa's apartment for a fantastic lunch, French style, with a selection of breads, cheeses, salad and some Italian sausage.

Shortly after lunch Rob received a coded message, indicating that we could meet the German just after midnight at Otto and Linda's bed and breakfast, in the sleepy town of Prüm, Germany. With this news we repacked the Subprime Micra and headed Northeast toward Prüm, there was not a second to lose...

Diary, 18th of July, 2009 - Rally launch and driving to Paris

Saturday morning and yet another early start, with wake up just after 6am and about 5 hours sleep. Anne cooked us up a full English breakfast, and then we hit the road for the launch of our cover story for our mission to save the world - the mighty Mongol Rally - at Goodwood Racecourse near Chichester.

Once at Goodwood we parked up, collected our rally stickers, and went for a bit of a wander around to check out the rest of the cars and have a bit of a chat with some of the other teams. There was a huge variation in vehicle types and preparations here, with everything from what appeared to be cars borrowed from the parents that weekend for 'a trip down the coast', to some seriously kitted out Suzuki Jimny's, and even one Range Rover that's seriously pushing credibility on the 1.2 litre rule... Ironically, knowing the reliabiltiy or otherwise of British vehicles, the Rangey's probably the least likely vehicle to make it...

Hopefully not a sign of things to come, we had our first, but completely trivial, vehicle failure waiting for our honour lap of Goodwood for the rally launch. While wiring up our power inverter, the battery clamp for the negative terminal broke clean in half. Luckily in our box of bits we had a U-shaped piece of steel with a bolt through it that is now doing sterling duty as a clamp clamp.

A few hours after we arrived at Goodwood, Nicola, Anne and Tim Cooper, Matthew and Claire, and Jonathan and Nikki Krogdahl came down to see us off on our big mission. At this point, I should mention that we had been treated to pretty much continuous rain from the time I had arrived at Heathrow, but that on Saturday morning the weather had miraculously cleared, with glorious blue skies and a beautiful mid twenties day for the drive out to Goodwood. It looked like it was going to be the perfect day to launch, but of course, while we waited for our honour lap around the racetrack the weather turned again with just enough rain to make the windscreen wipers essential, but intermittent mode too fast... I hate it when that happens

Following our parade lap, we hit the B-roads for the scenic route to Folkestone through the English countryside, and a couple of hours later we were at the Eurotunnel for passport control. Amazingly we'd arrived exactly on time for our booking, based on a 3 hour window of expected departure from Goodwood and Google Maps estimates of driving time (more on these later) to Folkestone.

After an uneventful channel crossing in the train we entered Calais, for Peter's first taste of driving on the right hand side of the road - with the steering wheel on the wrong side just to make things a bit more interesting. After a few excursions on the wrong side of the road we decided it might be safer for me to drive for a while to give Peter some time to acclimatise.

The first stop in our mission to save the world was to meet up with Clarissa Moriera and Robert Hutton, key members of the resistance against the Utopian Banking Society's evil conspiracy in France. Based on Google Maps driving time estimations, I'd told Rob while we ere in the UK that we should be arriving in Paris around 11pm. This was to prove to be just a tiny bit optimistic...

Our desire to avoid the notoriously expensive French Toll roads, combined with the Subprime Micra's inablilty to hold more than about 80km/h up any incline, meant that by around 10:30pm we had only made it around about half way to Paris. Calling Rob's mobile with both of our phones resulted in a recorded message in French that seemed to be saying that calling that number from our phones was forbidden.

At this point we began to fear that Rob and Clarissa's cover had been blown, and that they too had been abducted by the UPS. We sent a coded SMS message to explain that our arrival had been seriously delayed and that we could expected a few hours before sunrise. After a tense wait we received a message back from Rob, containing coded instructions to find the key to their apartment and let ourselves in on arrival.

At around 3am we found Rob and Clarissa's street in Paris, and amazingly there was one parking spot free, a mere 10m from their door. We punched in the code at the door, grabbed the key that Rob had hidden behind a painting in the lobby and made our way up one of the deadliest staircases on earth up to their apartment in the dark. We fumbled with the key for a minute or two, and then the door opened from within.

Once inside, Robert and Clarissa showed us to our beds and we quickly discussed the plan for Sunday. It had been a long day, but so far we haven't had any major difficulties. Hopefully our luck holds up...

Diary, 16th and 17th of July, 2009 - Final Preparations in Warwick

Today was the first day preparing the Subprime Micra. Oskar, Peter and I woke around 6:30 and piled into Oskar's £250 Ford Transit and bounced down the M40 to Prodrive at Warwickshire. After leaving Pete at Prodrive for his last day of work, Oskar and I drove out to Halfords to pick up a few parts for the Micra.

This was my first taste of driving the Subprime Micra, and I have to say I'm quite impressed. Around town the 50bhp 1 litre motor is surprisingly willing, giving perfectly usable performance up to about 65mph. The handling isn't too bad either, though there's a bit of body roll through the bends.

After picking up the parts we drove down to the Warwickshire College workshop to get to work. Ian Newstead arranged free access for us to use the workshop for a few days, and we can't thank the guys there enough. Preparing a 10 year old, £900 car to drive 16000km, including some of the roughest roads on earth is a pretty big deal no matter how you look at it, but when you've only got about two and a half days to get it done in it's almost impossible - so getting use of a fully equipped workshop was a lifesaver. Jim and Mic and the rest of the guys there not only put up with our dodgy Australian banter and unconventional work practices, but Jim stayed back until about 8:30pm on Thursday night. Absolute champion, even if he's backing the wrong team in the Ashes.

Since Warwick's a pretty decent drive from Reading, we'd planned to spend the night in Oskar's Transit. After much discussion about the best place to sleep without attracting police attention, we started setting up for the night near a small shopping centre across the road from the workshop. Naturally, just as we were getting into our sleeping bags two police roll up behind us in their Astra. Luckily for us, they weren't interested in moving us on, but were looking for a missing 15 year old girl. After wishing us a good night they continued the search. Hopefully they found her.

Friday morning we headed to Coventry on an abortive mission to get tek screws for fixing the power inverter in the car and other small items. It seems like tek screws just aren't used in Britain though - after checking three hardware stores and coming up empty handed, we bought some food at Morrisons and drove back to Warwick for our final day of car preparations before the Festival of Slow at Goodwood.

In the end we managed to get through a complete service, fit a set of high-profile van tyres, raise the suspension an inch front and back, fit bash protection for the sump, transmission, brake lines and fuel tank, as well as fitting new brake pads and rotors to the front and extra protection for animal strikes up front. Peter and Oskar had previously fitted a roof rack and kill switch, so with an average of about 3 or 4 hours sleep a night over the last few days, we're almost ready for the rally launch at Goodwood on Saturday morning.

The Illustrious Oskar Guggenbuhl

As we have learned, Peter and Michael received extensive assistance preparing the Subprime Micra from one the world's foremost race mechanics, Oskar Guggenbuhl. What follows is a brief excerpt from Oskar's biography.

Nobody knows exactly where or when Oskar Guggenbuhl was born. Most believe he was born to a dairy farming family in Switzerland around the turn of the century. A prolific traveller and lover, it is believed that Oskar's progeny number more than thirty.

One of the world's most sought after race mechanics, Oskar Guggenbuhl has been instrumental to the success of dominant race teams across almost every category of motorsport up until early 1995, where he retired to concentrate on organic goat herding.

From 1991 to 1995, Oskar was the head mechanic at Ferrari, overseeing drivetrain design and testing. Soon after starting with Ferrari, Oskar's superlative driving abilities became apparent, and he also quickly became the unofficial head test driver. It is rumoured that early in Michael Schumacher's career at Ferrari, Oskar not only advised Michael on optimal racing lines, but actually substituted for Mr Schumacher on some of the more technically challenging tracks.

Unfortunately, as Michael and Ferrari enjoyed more success on the racetrack, the relationship between Oskar and the young driver soured. Arguments with Mr Schumacher over racing ethics took their toll on Oskar, and combined with the his hectic schedule at Ferrari his health was badly affected, resulting in numerous hospitalisations for high

The relationship with Ferrari reached its nadir in 1994 when Michael Schumacher purposely rammed Damon Hill to ensure victory in the championship. Ferrari backed the driver's actions 100%. A man of strong convictions, Oskar stayed with Ferrari until the end of the season, before resigning his position and returning to Australia to recover his health with renowned natural therapy guru - Ocean Sky Rainbow-Seagull.

At Ocean Sky Rainbow-Seagull's clinic in Byron Bay, Oskar underwent three gruelling years of intensive aromatherapy, deep tissue massage, reiki and wholegrain colonic irrigations. Mysteriously, not only did the techniques work, but he was made visibly younger by at least 30 years.

It was in Byron Bay that he met Peter Krogdahl, at a meataholics anonymous session. They have been good friends ever since.

Diary, 15th of July, 2009 - San Francisco to Reading

This afternoon I finally arrived at Heathrow from San Francisco. Things got off to a great start on Tuesday morning picking up my passport from the Russian consulate in Pac Heights, relatively painless other than the $250 fee for expedited processing. Getting my passport back so late from the other visas has been a real pain in the butt.
After a quick visit to the office, grabbing a big wad of mixed american currency, some last minute packing and being made into a human pincushion it was time to head out to SFO for the flight to London. Trying to be frugal I figured I had plenty of time to take the train. This wasn't the greatest idea really since the walk to the BART station isn't particularly fun carrying 30 odd kilos of gear, and of course BART was running about 15minutes late in each direction and the platforms were overflowing.
Once on the train though things got a progressively more comfortable as people got off and we approached SFO. Check in went smoothly and I wandered over to the British Airways business lounge, to be greeted by a "Are you meant to be here?" from a particularly friendly BA staffer. Evidently people flying business class don't wear t-shirts. Or something like that. Maybe someone should let her know she's in California.
Anyhow, the flight was pretty good - slightly delayed, but the fully reclining seat and constantly refilled alcohol meant I got the best sleep I've ever had on a plane. I could get used to this, but my wallet can't.
Arrival at Heathrow seems to have been a preview of what is to come however. The woman at passport control gave me the third degree about my intentions in Britain, and beyond. Quite strange. Last time I checked Australia and the UK were friends. Maybe it's something to do with the ashes. Anyhow, we'll see how the russkies compare in a bit over a week.
After a bit of a terminal mixup Tim and Nic picked me up from Heathrow and we drove out to Reading. We're all going out for Indian tonight once Pete gets back from Prodrive. Most of the car preparation work begins tomorrow...

Michael arrives in London

July 15, 2009

Michael Whiteman, world famous adventurer and one half of the team tasked with rescuing the world economy arrived in London today, marking the 5th consecutive day of celebrations throughout the UK since Peter Krogdahl's touchdown on the 10th.

With the team now assembled in London, Michael and Peter made a brief visit to Buckingham Palace to give Queen Elizabeth II a briefing on plans to rescue the World Economy. While at Buckingham Palace the Queen bestowed upon them their long-pending knighthoods, and wished them godspeed.

From Buckingham Palace the duo made for Reading for some final discussions on strategy with Tim Cooper, Peter's father in law, former MI5 agent and younger brother of the great John Newton Cooper.

Tomorrow, Michael and Peter are heading to Warwickshire College, for final preparations on the Subprime Micra, with famed race mechanic Oskar Guggenbuhl.

Peter arrives in London

Peter Krogdahl, one half of the Broke for Going team, arrived in London from Australia this morning. Peter Krogdahl and his friend and colleague, Michael Whiteman, are believed by many to be the last hope for Western Civilisation, following the abduction of the World Economy in September 2008.

Peter and Michael's impending visit to the city prior to their mission to rescue the World Economy has had an electrifying effect all the way across the country. Hundreds of thousands of ordinary Britons have been reportedly been spontaneously gathering in public parks and city squares throughout the nation, singing and dancing in celebration.

News of Peter's arrival in London today sent the FTSE 100 rallying strongly during the day, closing more than 500 points higher at 4614.24. Investors throughout the United Kingdom said that they had never seen such a dramatic change in market sentiment and activity.

After negotiating his way through the admiring crowds at Heathrow Airport, Peter boarded a taxi to Downing Street to discuss strategy with Prime Minister, Gordon Brown. Security measures for Peter's visit have been tight, and no reporters were present for the meeting at No.10, but it is understood that discussions centred around the possible identity of one of the rougue bankers believed to have abducted the World Economy.



















Following their discussions at Downing St, Mr. Brown brought Peter to a automotive research facility in Coventry, where a vehicle has been specifically developed and manufactured for Peter and Michael's mission to Mongolia. Equipped with GPS, wireless internet, and with "100% carbon neutral" plutonium power cell generating power for the car's electric motor.

While thoroughly impressed, Peter was forced to decline Gordon's offer, explaining that though the vehicle was very nice, with both Peter and Michael traveling together to rescue the World Economy, a car with at least two seats would be required.

Peter and Michael are due to leave London for Paris on the 18th of July, to begin gathering evidence of the Economy's abductors, and their destination.